Helping Your Child to Adjust to the Idea of Boarding School

You've made a decision to send your child to a therapeutic boarding school, and now you need to help him adjust to the idea. While many children react to such news with anxiety, tears, arguments or anger, you need to remember that as a parent, it's your responsibility to decide what's best for your child. Remember also that this is not the first decision that you've made that doesn't meet with his immediate approval.

You must make it clear to your child that the decision about boarding school belongs to you as a parent and that you have made it based upon what is best for her and for your family. This doesn't mean that you don't empathize with her feelings. It's important to take time to listen to her thoughts and try to understand them while reserving the right to take the action you know is best.

Here are some ideas for helping your child adjust to the idea of going to a therapeutic boarding school:

• Present the idea over time. Bring up the subject of boarding school several times over a period of a few weeks. Try not to present it as a done deal but as an option that you are considering in her best interest. Let her look at the brochure or other literature about the school.
• Enlist the help of others. If your child is seeing a therapist or counselor, talk to that person about the situation. She may be able to suggest some advantages of going to boarding school that you can use in discussion with your child: "Dr. Smith thinks that you might be able to catch up better with your coursework and be ready for college if you attend this school."
• Discuss the advantages of the school with your child, such as animal therapy or an opportunity for outdoor adventures. Point out that he can make a fresh start with new friends and teachers. Don't allow arguments to sway you; focus upon the future and the opportunity the school presents for him to excel.
• If possible, visit the school with your child. Let her see where she will be living, what the curriculum is like, and what the other students look like. Allow her to ask questions.
• Empower your child with choices. While he may not be able to make a choice whether or not to attend a therapeutic boarding school, allow your child as many small choices as possible. Decisions such as what to pack, which classes he's interested in taking and so on will help him to feel a part of the enrollment process.
• Stay positive. Once she's in school, stay in touch often. Let her know that you care and that you believe in her success.